Profanity is no longer profane. While this seems like a cause for cele-f'in-bration, it isn't. Our society has watered down the effect of words that once prompted outrage, shock and Saturday detentions. The F'bomb now illicits barely a blink and H-E- double Mary Kay Olson legs wouldn't draw anymore attention from grandma than the four inch mole hair on her neck does. In fact, the last time I tried to break up with a girl by calling her the C-word she laughed, told me grow up and tore up my Mr T autograph. I felt powerless. I knew we needed something new, something that would convey the ultimate insult, the end all of ...all ends. The it it hit me. Well it didn't hit me, it hit George Bush..almost

Apparently in civilized Iraq, hitting someone with your shoes is the ultimate dis. When they toppled the statue of Hussein, the Iraqi's converged on the former dictators likeness and did what all oppressed people do with their first taste of freedom, they beat it with their shoes. As if being hanged doesn't suck enough, imagine being hit with shoes and losing control of your bodily functions , as well as your existence, in the public square. The solefull smackdown should be utilized in the US. When someone cuts you off in traffic, flip them the Chuck Taylors. If your boyfriend comes home late, drunk and smelling like your sisters fabric softener, pelt him with some Uggs. Telling the Blockbuster nerd clerk to screw off when he expects you to pay for keeping Batman 2 out for three years would prove futile but striking an Air Jordan imprint on his forehead will definitely drive the point home. If there is one thing spending a quadrillion dollars in Iraq can get us, it's a new way to insult people